Reviews

Now for the good stuff

Licorice Pizza

PTA is arthouse for normies NO Release date: November 26, 2021Director: Paul Thomas AndersonLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Soft boys who watch Die Hard at Christmas. The only one in the friend group excited for the Top Gun reboot.  When should you watch this movie: When you just got your septum pierced andContinue reading “Licorice Pizza”

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust / 吸血鬼ハンターD ブラッドラスト

It’s like if the garbage disposal miraculously produced a delicious smoothie YES Release date: April 21, 2001Director: Yoshiaki KawajiriLanguage: Japanese Who should watch this movie: Folks who want to like Akira but don’t. Closet weebs.  When should you watch this movie: When it’s your turn to pick a movie for movie-night and you know yourContinue reading “Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust / 吸血鬼ハンターD ブラッドラスト”

Encanto

Y’all knew this one was coming YES Release date: November 24, 2021Director: Jared Bush, Byron HowardLanguage: English, Spanish Who should watch this movie: Eldest daughters. People who love spending time with their family but not for more than 3 or 4 days at a time.  When should you watch this movie: On a sunny SundayContinue reading “Encanto”

81⁄2 

I genuinely don’t know what to make of this, so this is just a rant.  MAYBE???? Release date: February 14, 1963Director: Federico FelliniLanguage: Italian Who should watch this movie: Everyone or no one.  When should you watch this movie: Frankly, whenever.  The sell: Being told a movie is genius before you see it has theContinue reading “81⁄2 “

Imagine Me and You

I have it on good authority that Lena Headey is still experiencing back pain from carrying this movie on her shoulders YES Release date: September 9, 2005Director: Ol ParkerLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Lesbians who came out in their mid-late twenties. Kiddos still in the closet who are looking for a confidence boostContinue reading “Imagine Me and You”

Free Fall / Freier Fall

“Gay German policemen” sounds fun but trust me, it’s not MAYBE Release date: May 23, 2013Director: Stephan LacantLanguage: German Who should watch this movie: Queers with daddy issues. Folks with one or more AO3 tabs open on their browser right now.  When should you watch this movie: When you’re heart is broken and you wantContinue reading “Free Fall / Freier Fall”

Shiva Baby

I love this movie but it is not good for my blood pressure YES Release date: April 2, 2021Director: Emma SeligmanLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Jews in their 20s. People with diagnosed anxiety disorders.  When should you watch this movie: When you’re taking a break from looking at grad schools.  The sell: IContinue reading “Shiva Baby”

Ocean’s Eleven

The worlds seems to have forgotten Don Cheadle’s accent in this movie, but not me. I have not forgotten.  YES Release date: December 7, 2001Director: Steven SoderberghLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: The lost and the lonely. Folks who were lukewarm about Knives Out.  When should you watch this movie: When you haven’t feltContinue reading “Ocean’s Eleven”

Romancing the Stone

This review is written for my dear friend Aleks who alleges that Romancing the Stone is “the best film ever made.” I love you Aleks, even though you’re wrong.  NO Release date: March 30, 1984Director: Robert ZemeckisLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: My friend Aleks. Suburban moms in their 50s.  When should you watchContinue reading “Romancing the Stone”

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