Attack the Block

Happy to report that if aliens attacked my neighborhood, I would run. Good luck everyone! YES Release date: May 11, 2011Director: Joe CornishLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: People who didn’t like E.T. Folks who love a “cult classic.” When should you watch this movie: At an “underrated films” film festival. At a reunionContinue reading “Attack the Block”

Pacific Rim

“Badass” is an under-scrutinized axis of serious film critique YES Release date: July 12, 2013Director: Guillermo Del ToroLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: People who love giant robots and hate Michael Bay. When should you watch this movie: When you’re avoiding texts from your friends for no good reason. While also watching the olympics.Continue reading “Pacific Rim”

One Day

This is actually a cautionary tale about being friends with a man. YES Release date: August 19, 2011Director: Lone Scherfig Language: English Who should watch this movie: People who still think about their crush from the 6th grade. Folks who have a hard time letting go.  When should you watch this movie: When it occursContinue reading “One Day”

Army of the Dead

Disclaimer: This review has nothing to do with my personal vendetta against Zack Snyder for his crimes against the film industry NO Release date: May 14, 2021Director: Zack SnyderLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Folks who liked Oceans 12 the most out of the Oceans trilogy. People who’s favorite movie is 300.  When shouldContinue reading “Army of the Dead”

Ready or Not

There is no such thing as an ethical billionaire YES Release date: August 21, 2019Director: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler GillettLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Girlbosses. Anyone who’s been on a date with a finance guy.  When should you watch this movie: After going on a date with a finance guy. Before attending a weddingContinue reading “Ready or Not”

The Lego Movie

A most pleasant surprise YES Release date: February 7, 2014Director: Phil Lord, Christopher MillerLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Folks having a hard time. Parents.  When should you watch this movie: When you need a distraction from the horror show of reality. While you’re babysitting and the kids suggest watching something terrible and/or boringContinue reading “The Lego Movie”

Eyes Wide Shut

Not fun. Not sexy. NO Release date: July 16, 1999Director: Stanley Kubrick Language: English Who should watch this movie: Cynics with very specific kinks. Fans of 90s Nicole Kidman. When should you watch this movie: Stone cold sober on a Tuesday (go for a run after). The sell: I can’t find it right now butContinue reading “Eyes Wide Shut”

Treasure Planet

Daddy issues in space YES Release date: November 27, 2002Director: Ron Clements, John MuskerLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: 90s kids. People who grew up playing the Tony Hawk video games. When should you watch this movie: When you feel the call for adventure. When the DNC refuses to cancel student loans again. TheContinue reading “Treasure Planet”

Departures / おくりびと

Someday I’ll write a full essay on the difference between “Kitsch” and “Schlock” and this movie will serve as Exhibit A  YES Release date: September 13, 2008Director: Yōjirō TakitaLanguage: Japanese Who should watch this movie: Expats living in Japan. Classical musicians. Folks who have recently lost a loved one. Folks who have ever lost aContinue reading “Departures / おくりびと”

Mank

Catch me getting my hot take in BEFORE the Oscars so people won’t call me an edgelord after this movie sweeps every category. MAYBE Release date: November 13, 2020Director: David FincherLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: People who love movies (like, Love love). Folks with an interest in Hollywood lore. Political scientists.  When shouldContinue reading “Mank”