Romancing the Stone

This review is written for my dear friend Aleks who alleges that Romancing the Stone is “the best film ever made.” I love you Aleks, even though you’re wrong.  NO Release date: March 30, 1984Director: Robert ZemeckisLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: My friend Aleks. Suburban moms in their 50s.  When should you watchContinue reading “Romancing the Stone”

Treasure Planet

Daddy issues in space YES Release date: November 27, 2002Director: Ron Clements, John MuskerLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: 90s kids. People who grew up playing the Tony Hawk video games. When should you watch this movie: When you feel the call for adventure. When the DNC refuses to cancel student loans again. TheContinue reading “Treasure Planet”

The Princess Bride

“It’s just that masks are terribly comfortable – I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.” YES Release date: September 25, 1987Director: Rob ReinerLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Everyone who hasn’t seen it before. Everyone who has seen it before. When should you watch this movie: When you’re in love. WhenContinue reading “The Princess Bride”

Apocalypto

Martin Scorsese really loves this movie NO Release date: December 8, 2006Director: Mel GibsonLanguage: Yucatec Mayan Who should watch this movie: People who liked Braveheart. People who see themselves as the hero in any situation.  When should you watch this movie: When you’ve already seen all the Mission Impossible movies.  The sell: Mel Brooks isContinue reading “Apocalypto”

The Emperor’s New Groove

The funniest movie ever made, you cannot convince me otherwise YES Release date: December 15, 2000Director: Mark DindalLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Everyone with a soul and a few without.  When should you watch this movie: Every time you think of it The sell: This movie is SO GOOD. The story is original,Continue reading “The Emperor’s New Groove”

The Road To El Dorado

Gay YES Release date: March 31, 2000Director: Eric “Bibo” Bergeron, Don PaulLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Fans of Pirates of the Caribbean. Fans of Mulan.  When should you watch this movie: When you accidentally catch feelings. When you want to watch an adventure movie that doesn’t star Johnny Depp.  The sell: El DoradoContinue reading “The Road To El Dorado”

The Brothers Bloom

Every celebrity crush I have is in this movie YES Release date: September 9, 2008Director: Rian JohnsonLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Fans of Rachel Weisz’s Filmography. People who found “The Game,” to be slightly too dark.  When should you watch this movie: When you’re in a fight with your sibling(s).  The sell: IContinue reading “The Brothers Bloom”

The Hunt for Wilderpeople

Sam Neil’s best role, yes including Jurassic Park YES Release Date: March 31, 2016Director: Taika WaititiLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Fans of Thor: Ragnarok. I would say die-hard Taika Waititi fans, but they have all already seen this movie.  When should you watch this movie: When you think you want to watch aContinue reading “The Hunt for Wilderpeople”

Stardust

Robert DeNiro plays a gay pirate, what more do you need to know? YES Release Date: August 10, 2007Director: Matthew VaughnLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: People who “don’t enjoy fantasy” but love The Notebook. Folks who read the book. Fans of Dare Devil who want to experience the full range of Charlie Cox’sContinue reading “Stardust”

Moana

WE KNOW THE WAYYYYY YES Release Date: November 23, 2016Director: Ron Clements, John MuskerLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Lost 20-somethings amidst existential crisis and uncertainty in their careers/life-course. Ugh me, probably soon.  When should you watch this movie: ASAP The sell: Moana is a Disney movie, yes, but it takes the Disney formatContinue reading “Moana”