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Murder on the Orient Express

This really didn’t need a remake NO Release Date: November 10, 2017Director: Kenneth BranaghLanguage: English Who should see this movie: Passengers on a plane with a poor in-flight movie selection  When should you see this movie: When you’re on a plane with a poor in-flight movie selection  The sell: It turns out a good castContinue reading “Murder on the Orient Express”

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Mansfield Park

They really gloss over the racism NO Release date: November 19, 1999Director: Patricia RozemaLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Super-fans of period dramas.  When should you watch this movie: When forced by a super-fan of period dramas.  The sell: Mansfield Park is the weakest link in the Jane Austen film adaptation chain. The novelContinue reading “Mansfield Park”

Elf

Sorry to break it to you all but this is a terrible movie NO Release Date: November 7, 2003Director: Jon FavreauLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: No one, we’d all be better off When should you watch this movie: Never! That’s 1.5 hours you can use doing something better like getting in a fightContinue reading “Elf”

Excalibur

Why did Sir Patrick Stewart agree to be in this movie? NO Release Date: April 10, 1981Director: John BoormanLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Die-hard fantasy fans with too much time on their hands.  When should you watch this movie: When your magic the gathering tournament is canceled due to Covid-19 and you haveContinue reading “Excalibur”

Die Hard

Not as fun or cool as people made it seem NO Release Date: July 15, 1988Director: John McTiernan Language: English Who should watch this movie: People who love Brooklyn 99 and want to understand why it’s Jake Peralta’s favorite movie (it does explain a lot). People who are really committed to the concept of “aContinue reading “Die Hard”